URIEL UNIVERSITY
BOLOGNA COLLEGE'S BIBLICAL EXEGESIS CONTINUES

This is a sample course from Bologna college, dedicated to what are often called the social sciences, such as economics, politics, and the like. It should be noted here that sometimes disciplines fight over their parameters. Example: Husserl and the phenomenologists were trying to reground philosphy in mathematics, because on their view, it had gotten so far afield as to suggest the most preposterous and ridiculous propositions.
This Content is educational, and belongs to the crowd sourced University so don't pull a sacbatani and try to say it comes from Katzman. It doesn't. Everything comes from God anyways, but this is milk dud having a good time with God OK? that's all. And as such eligible for Elucidation.

Without reading today's readings, how did Satan steal our green garden residence cards? He said A. PARADISE DACA was void due to it sounded like CACA. B. Stop it with the scatology. Do EScataology ok. Ok "god uses pesticides on the lemon trees. C. God is mean. D. Did God really say you can't eat any of this macedonia? Hint: macedonia is an Italian word for fruit salad, due to fact whatever. And just to clarify, we can eat all the macedonia we want as long as everybody gets some HELLOOOOO
The Devil in other words being a spirit, is far more likely than we imagine to to use A. insipid, insidious intellectual inconsistencies. B. Nukular bombs. C. pesticides. D. fake fruit.
We think he walks around with goat horns, but he would only do this if it suited his purpose.

The neocities was down for Lourdes, perhaps swamped with water from Holloways' healing hallelujah! anyway, today we get a dose of exactly how holy or is it holloway we need to be to enter the kingdom, such that if we are angry with someone we are going to court in heaven, so we better figure it all out here, in the merciful mediation of mount carmel milk duds What do I mean by that? Elijah was miffed because malevolent mujeres wanted to murder him, may I indulge and say he went MIA on Madonna Mountain lol but God mandated him to go back to the ministry. LOL MY MY MYNeocities.

CYRIL AND METHODIUS WHO TAUGHT PUTIN TO WRITE THE CYRLLIC ALPHABET. Because we all need to larn our A B Cyrils..
God decided to wash the earth with seawater and or freshwater floods in the time of A. Noah and it poured rain B. Ramses II and the NIle broke over its banks. C. our own times, from Auckland to Broad Channel. D. dang it my ark is tied up down at teh Chatahoochee red neck yacht clerb. (I'm gonna miss her.)
In the gospel, Jesus is out in a boat. What sort of boat? A. Barry Obimini's big ole Boat off the cape Cod canal. B. Billy's The Ted Kennedy which is used to disappear annoying women.C. A kayak, because they were crewing in preparation for the fisherman's regatta.D. Just a fishing boat dont wax so poetic, sheesh.
Beware, he said, of the bread of A. mold. B. Burnt. C. too refined and sugary. D. pharisaical hypocrisy.
The disciples had forgotten to bring bread so they only had A. one loaf. B. Crust. C. brioche, which is pretty good anyways. D. rye but they couldnt cook it becuase the fire have burned a hole in the boat.
Thats not what I'm tailmbout, said Jesus, you already forgot the miracle of A. the lepers. B. the blind man of Jerico. C. saint Paul and the lightning bolt. D. The loaves and fishes. Sheesh! go review your exegesis, wudja.

today we see Noah emerging from the ark after forty A. floods. B. tidal waves. C. years. D. Days.
Noah was how old at that time? A. 6. B. 60. C. 600. D. sick, and then he died.
Tolkien references this race of long lived people and calls them the A. Dundees. B. Dunedain. C. Dundee is probably a modern scots version of Dunedain. D. How the fugazzi do you know? who are you, the dictionary of Jesus?

Noah was apparently not involved with the nephelim, but please see Genesis 6 for angel/woman couples that created a race of violent giants. also see here: ANGEL CITY
Jesus healed a blind man A. in stages. B. on the stage. C. backstage. D. both A and C, in a sense.
He told him to A. stay out of sight. B. keep quiet about the miracle.C. Both A and B. D. Neither A nor B. note: if you read a lot and pay attention, you can play these word games without consulting a dictionary because words naturally stay in your head especially through music. If you dont believe it try learning stuff via music. It's much easier for example to memorize a declension of Latin verbs if you sing it. Try singing Pugno pugnare pugno pugnare pugnare pugnavi pugnatus A UM to the melody of ( can't recall it but find it later."

in the times of Abraham God destroyed cities by A. hazmat. B. Fire. C. starved them out. D. beieged them with vacuum salesmen.
In the time of Noah he was miffed at the A. anawim. B. Cherubim. C. Nephelim. D. Rohirrim, no wait is that Tolkien again. He must have gotten that Elohim suffix from the bible that plagerizing poser.

In our times we are experiencing both, in the form of increased A. volcanos and floods. B. vacuums and broom purveyors on etsy. C. fire pits and fountains for sale in Ozone park at the corner of Linden and LIberty.
O please, thats where Jack Kerouac used to sell flowers.
Peter IDs Jesus as A. an unidentified flying messiah. B. Cut it out. C. an Undocumented prophet from the tribe of Benjamin. D. a tax dodging oligarch from Pharaoh's precincts, trying to get out of paying the pyramid tax. (sigh).
Jesus says "ok true but A. dont say a word about it. B. Don't get too big for your britches. C. It's not all wines and roses. D. all of the above.

FEAST OF THE SERVITES.
In todays first reading we learn that at some point in ancient history apparently everyone spoke the same language and used the same A. words. B. accent. C. university. D. dictionary and my goodness there must have been a long wait at the library for that.
Unfortunately, people decided they were A. cooler than you. B. Cooler than me. There is a video about that somewhere on the page. C Cooler than God. D. Cooling systems.
They built a tower up to the sky, known in present day parlance as a A. twin towers. B. Dubai monstrosity. C. zigurrat. D. EIffel tower.
What happened to this tower? A. People babbled so much it never got finished BRB.
The point of the story if you are a belieber is, is God must descend in order for us to A. repair the HVAC. B. drag race at the Talla Dega. C. sail the seven seas. D. Ascend to paradise. SAIL AWAY SAIL AWAY NOW I GET IT

YES WE DID SKIP SATURDAY. IT's carnival weekend and they are rioting in Rio and Bumping it in Baton Rouge.
V IS FOR VALANGA. while it is often thought that the God of the old Testament was justice and the New law is m ercy, in fact God forbad vendetta for many millenia, even as far back as Cain and Abel.
in the first reading, god says to Moses, you shall not practice the ancient ritual of V. Valentines. V. Vendetta. V. Vampires. V. Victuals.
Did God appear to V and Evie and warn them to change the title of the movie? A. they weren't religious. B. Unsure. C. yes, but he waited until the fifth of November. D. Yes, but they slipped up and went for revancho anyhow.
The song h"santeria" was mashed up to indicate the adventures of which vengeful street gang? The bloods. The maras. The sangre. Leon's Litigators.

today is a holiday but its worth considering the celebration of Francisco and Jacinta marto of portugal in an exegetical way, that is, why not just consider them as jail birds and find out why two little kids would be locked up in jail at all just for saying they saw the Virgin Mary. If they didn't, who cares, kids will be kids.....and if they did....hmm....that's kind of scary, she might start being nice to people. Find out which political party did this and why. It's interesting if nothing else.

TIME FOR MIDTERM REVIEW. does this mean the teacher gets to snooze? Not really. just means, participants have to participate a bit more than usual.
Jesus began a long journey through Galilee but he didnt want anyone to know about it, mainly because: A.he tole the nuclear codes and sold them to a tribal chieftan who had a.lot of good reaons to do serious vendetta damage in the desert of Haran.
Let's not even go there, Jesus was hiding from Peters mother in law who was really in fact not a good cook. C. He didnt want to die, who does? D. none, or peaches.
This is a quick review of Lent, which is named for "fave" lenticche" "garbanzos and lets hope there's running water nearby just saying.
The Italians call it Quaresima, probably becuase A. they eat lentils all the time anyways so its nbd. B. they got it mixed up with quasimodo after pilgrimaging to Notre Dame where the masons attempted to portray the church as haunted by weirdos (this is a true tactic of masonry, to portray the church as hideous and disgusting)
WHen baudelaire couldn't do that as he had not achieved 33 degrees of stupidity, he said lets hire a homeless guy to crap inn the confessional and torch the damn thing. Ok put that in yer pipe and smoke it. Is Baudelaire even a mason? He smells like he was hanging around Sartre too long idk
Unfortunately for Charlie, Pio was hiding in the confessional already dressed as Batman, or was it Barbie. He leaped to his feat shuoting Times up foo! B. Tell me your sins, my child. C. THis confessional is a bit drafty, shall we adjourn to the pizza oven and get ourselves some cozy slippers, charles?
IN THE FIRST reading for Today Feb 24 God says that the purpose of fasting is to A. make weight for wrestling meets. B. share the bread you didnt eat iwth the hungry. C. save money so you can buy moschino handbags and stuff. D. None of these. in case you dont realize it, this is meant to be a bit humorous and is not meant to say that the Valanga di Vita has any boosted bling. OK? SHEESH
Why do you fast, God says and then A. quarrel. B. Bicker. C. Kerfuffle. D. all of these.
Obviosuly if we fast until we are cranky and miffed, we might A. be mean. B. Knock over a fruit cart. C. go into glycemic shock. D Al of these.
I dont really need your sacrifices Says God, because A. All the cows in the world are his. B. All the peach trees in the world are his. C. All the bank accounts in the world are his. D. ok we get it.

MIDTERM: Jesus called Levi, who was A. a blue jeans salesman. B. A tax collector. C. His name was Levon, but Levi is the vocative case.
An agent for Elton John, which is why Elton wrote the song "he shall be Levi."
What happened then? A. Jesus got free jeans for life but they weren't much use in the desert, not enough ventilation. B. Levi was so overjoyed at being loved and listened to, (nobody likes the IRS hey) that he threw a massive party and Jesus was on the VIP list. C. THe pharisees then began to look down their noses at the whole affair, but they were probably just jealous of Jesus once again. D. Both B and C, but defintely not A.
In fact, the tribe of Levi was originally assigned to A. bakeries. B. priests. C. bricklayers. D. paradise plumbers, cleaning up old barzees stupidity spills in the gulf of Eden.
Saint Trivia, todays franciscan saint is the angel of Mexico, patron of tijolos (You can't make it up) while the salesian saints you'll have to figure it out for yourslef.

Please note we do apologize for excessive wordiness...trying to prove our intellectuall mettle..that we are trying to pursue accreditation and the dept of Ed and the IRS were curious about the valanga, but when we tried to explain our mission there was a ferocious in fact, a murderous backlash from some quarters.
Jesus says "you will be dragged before governors, and don't worry about your defense." But he didn't have a lawyer nad he got killed so its a little hard to take. Just saying.

WEEK NINE. Monday. MATTHEW 25, sheep and goats.
Each one of the readings is worth a whole course unto itself, and we at Bologna College should all pause and consider, that there was a time in history when people actually believed in the four last things: death, judgement, heaven and hell. In this teaching from Matthew, Jesus suggests that heaven is open to those who A. feed the hungry and clothe the naked. B. Visit people in jails and hospitals. C. welcome immigrants from war blasted countries. D all of these.
If we ignore people altogether we are really ignoring A. Barbara Corcoran. B. Jesus himself. C. the grizzly bear who is about to eat our left foot. D. B, but probably the others are just for humorous lightheartedness.
Let us pray that none of us ends up in trouble with the paradise police, and that we all practice A. martial arts. works of mercy. C. the higgs boson equations. D. our French. Link to readingsIn todays reading from Isaiah, God promises that his word will always accomplish what it decides to do. thats all for right now.THIS IS THE GIBURGUES PREACHER SO FIND OUT ABOUT IF IF YOU WISH.He is very Husserlian while yet being a priest. That's interesting HAAAHHHH o no

The Story of Jonah is important to the Uriel educational system becuase it prefigures the deaht and life of Jesus. Also because it inspired the story of Pinodchio which the illuminati figured they could rise again without engelbrotts, they used milk duds they stole from Mt Carmel but it didnt work. Ok get serious.
God told Jonah to go to Nineveh. instead Jonah went to A. Hell. B. Joppa. C. Japan. D. Heaven, but he didnt tell anybody else how to get there so he got fired as a prophet.
Why did he disregard God's instructions? A. Prophet pay is really peasly but merchant marine pay is munificent.
pause. This is true, what do you get for being a prophet? Killed, most likely which is why Jonah pulled an Elijah in the first place. Sheesh.
This is also st Davids day so if you know a David get them a caffe.sospeso, if you can afford it. Or you could ask them to get you one but they might bean you.

SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND.That is actually not Milk Dud ascending mount Caramello, it's Pier Giorgio going "VERSO L'ALTO." Different, yet similar in a way.

You have heard it said that you shall not kill, but I tell you if you call your brother a fool you are liable to A. hell. B.jail. C. probation. D. all of these.
Before you give a gift at the altar, make peace with A. Iran. B. Israel. C. Iroquois. D. anyone you have offended in your life.

Jesus took Peter James and john A. up mount caramello for milk duds. B. We need to summit K 2 and promote these campomaggi frassati collab sherpa packs
if we cross the pyrenees we might escape the fascists/communists/roman legions/hessian mercenaries take your pick.
He just wanted to show them how beautiful he was, so they would not become suicidal when he was crucified but Judas wasn't there, so he did. Actaully he was overcome by guilt, next.

"Judge not, lest ye be judged. Forgive and you shall be forgiven. Give and it shall be given to you." The best word to describe this sort of philosophy is A. Vendetta. B.greed. C. sophistry. D. Mercy.
Some say Jesus was A. unrealistic. B. wacked out. C. hypocritical. D. an invention of historical bamboozlement.
There's only one way to find out and that is A.blow up a church and see if He gets angry. B. read every single book ever written on the subject. C. Go up to the tabernacle and say "are you in there? D. I have no idea.

the charges against Sodom and Gomorrah according to the prophet Isaiah, are that they don't take care of A. widows and orphans. B. their yachts. C. bidness. D. the climate. (It doesn't say anything here about sexual behavior, it's all economics. Just saying.)
In the Gospel, Jesus says the Pharisees love to A. swagger around in fine Versace moda. B. Sit in the best table at Baltazarr. C. Force their flunkies to introduce them as "Mr. Bigstuff." D. All of the above.
On these facts, its easy to see why the Pharisees and laywers wanted to A. punch his lights out. b. Knock him into the middle of next week. C. throw him in jail and throw away the key. D. all of these.
The problem is we have done the same thing in our society, we have become slaves of the law just as they were. We treat the codified law as if it were the supreme authority and we have forgotten that against those who love, there is no law.

today in the readings from the prophets we find the people planning to A. get rid of Jeremiah. B. get rid of Isaiah. C. get rid of both Isaiah and Jeremiah. D. Exalt Jeremiah and humiliate Isaiah.
Why might they wish to do this? A. because it costs too much to have two prophets on the payroll. B. because prophets are useless in a scientifically enlightened society such as ours. C. Because what Jeremiah proposed was unrealistic. D. The bible does not say, and I am in no mood to speculate on the obscure motivations of a crowd of vengeful conspirators.
In the Gospel, we can see how powerful mediterranean mothers are, since James and John allowed their mother to ask Jesus for A. promotions. B. Bonuses. C. Time and a half. D. the best nets, a 15 denaro minimum wage and a fish fry every Sabbath.
Jesus answered, you want promotions but can you suffer with me? If you want to be great in my kingdom A. you missed the point. B. Non ministrari ,sed ministrare. C Hic passat omni gloria mundi. D. Tov ha or, mim ha hoshek.

Todays' gosepl for march 9 is the gospel of A. The rich and the famous. B. The rich man and Lazarus. C. The quick and the dead. D. The parcival mosaic.
In what is perhaps the most unsettling indictment of the one percent, Jesus portrays Lazarus as going to heaven while the rich man went to A. the bank. B. The hospital. C. hell. D. the supermarket.
the rich man shouted to lazarus to get him some water, but Lazarus said he couldn't because A. it was too far. B There was some sort of impassable barrier. C. No one knew the route. D. He didnt feel like it.
What is strange is the rich man still felt charity towards his five brothers, which means he wasn't really all that nasty. He was just greedy?GO HERE FOR NEW BIBLe STUDY

BIBLE QUIZZIES

URIEL UNIVERSITY BOLOGNA COLLEGE'S BIBLICAL EXEGESIS CONTINUES

URIEL UNIVERSITY
BOLOGNA COLLEGE'S BIBLICAL EXEGESIS CONTINUES